Candle Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.
"He's gone to Rome, to blow that candle out" came the harried reply.

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles!
What's Christmas called in England?
Yule Britannia!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?
Beacause a little water ends both of them!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
Platform shoes!
What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I'm going out tonight!
Whats happens to you at Christmas?
Yule be happy!
How long does it take to burn a candle down?
About a wick!

The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the
sweetest face for the opening scene of the Christmas play. "Now,
all you have to do, when you hear me say to the choir' ... and
the angel lit the candle', is come on stage and light all the
candles."
"I can do it, I can do it!" the little boy said, excitedly.
Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The
choir was ready, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens
of unlit candles all around, and all awaited the moment when the
cute littlest angel would make his entrance.
The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and
the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an
expectant "... and the angel lit the candle"
Everyone looked stage right for the entrance.
No little boy.
The director gave the downbeat again, and more loudly said,
"... and the angel lit the more...

Better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.

Blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.

To light a candle is to cast a shadow.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.