Candle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a more...

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers.
The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the
existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark
is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is
less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark
sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot
have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things,
dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer
suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark more...

Mrs. Jones was walking down a Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "And how are you Mrs. Jones? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"
She replied "You did that, Father."
"And are there any little ones yet?"
"No, not yet, Father," she said.
"Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."
"Oh, thank you, Father." And away she went.
Several years later they met again.
"Well now, Mrs. Jones," said the Father, "How are you?"
"Oh, very well," she said.
"And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all.
"Now isn't that wonderful !!!, " he said "And how is your fine husband?"
"Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome to more...

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down a street in Dublin and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Reilly.
"Hello," the Father said, "and how is Mrs. O'Donovan? Did I not marry you a couple of years ago?"
"That you did, Father," she replied.
"And are there any little ones yet?" he asked. "No, Father, not as yet," she replied.
"Well, I'm off to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for you," said Father O'Reilly. "Thank you, Father," she replied and continued on her way.
A few years later they met again. "Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," the Father said, "how are you?" And tell me, have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father," she replied. I've had three sets of twins and four singles - ten in all."
"Now is't that wonderful," he replied. "And how is that lovely husband of yours?"
"He's well, Father. He's gone off to Rome more...

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "And how is Mr. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"
She replied, "You did that, Father."
"And are there any little ones yet?"
"No, not yet, Father," she said
"Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."
"Oh, thank you, Father," and away she went.
Several years later they met again.
"Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"
"Oh, very well," said she.
"And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all."
"Now isn't that wonderful?" he said, "and how is your wonderful husband?"
"Oh," she said, more...

On his tour to the U.S., the Pope visited a couple who had been childless for six years, try as they might to have a baby. The Pope promised to light a candle for them at the Vatican.
A decade later, the Pope returned and dropped in on the couple again and found nine children romping around the house.
Congratulating the wife on her fruitfulness, the Pope looked around and asked, "But where is your husband?"
"Jim?" the haggard woman said. "Oh, he went to Rome to blow out that candle!"

On his tour to the U.S., the Pope visited a couple who had been childless for six years, try as they might to have a baby. The Pope promised to light a candle for them at the Vatican.A decade later, the Pope returned and dropped in on the couple again and found nine children romping around the house.Congratulating the wife on her fruitfulness, the Pope looked around and asked, "But where is your husband?""Jim?" the haggard woman said. "Oh, he went to Rome to blow out that candle!"