Campfire Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.
    The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
    The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."
    The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

    15 Steps to Build a campfire.
    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
    2. Bandage left thumb.
    3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
    4. Bandage left foot.
    5. Make structure of slivers(including those embedded in hand).
    6. Light match.
    7. Light match.
    8. Repeat "a scout is cheerful," and light match.
    9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of flames.
    10. Apply Burn ointment to nose.
    11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
    12. Upon discovery that fire has gone out during your absence, soak wood with liquid from can labeled "kerosene."
    13. Treat face and arms for second degree burns, and relabel your can to read "gasoline."
    14. When fire is burning well, add all remaining wood.
    15. When thunderstorm has passed, repeat steps 1 through 14.

    Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark.

    Three bushies were sitting around a campfire one night when one bloke started complaining about his useless cattle dog.

    "I'd give $100 to anybody who can make him do anything on command," he spat. "Watch this."

    The bloke commanded the dog to sit, roll over and play dead, all with no result.

    The second bushie said, "Give me a go."

    He commanded the dog to sit, roll over and play dead, all with no result. After an hour he gave up in disgust.

    The third bushie stands up and says, "I'll take that $100."

    Then he grabs the dog, throws him into the campfire and yells, "Get out of there, boy!"

    Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall talesbegins. The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands." The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walkingdown the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under arock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bitits head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still heretoday." The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

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