Cafe Jokes

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    Not Much of a Man?

    Hot 2 years ago

    A little guy sat in a cafe one day eating his lunch. Three Hells Angels walked into the cafe, looked around, and decided to have some fun with the little guy.
    They sat at his table. One of them took his coffee away from him and drank it down. The next one took his sandwich away and ate it down. The third Hells Angel took the little guy's pie and ate it down.
    Without saying a word, the little guy got up, went to the cash register, paid his bill, and left.
    One of the Hells Angels looked at the waitress, and said, "Did you see that? We took away his coffee, his sandwich, and his pie! And he didn't say a word! He sure ain't much of a man!"
    The waitress turned to them and said, "He ain't much of a truck driver, either. He just ran over three motorcycles in the parking lot!"

    A furniture dealer from Knoxville, Tennessee, decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capitol), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
    To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
    Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
    He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture more...

    A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says, "I'll have a Scotch and water and my dog would like a whiskey sour."
    The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals in here." The dog replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being discriminated against. Just give me a drink."
    The bartender says, "Oh, no, not another ventriloquist with the old talking dog trick. Both of you, get out of here!"
    "No, no, no, this isn't a trick, I promise you," says the man, "I tell you what, I'll go for a walk around the block and you talk to Rover here."
    The man leaves and the bartender sees him turn the corner. "Now, can I have my drink." says the dog.
    The bartender is amazed. "Sure you can and it's on the house! Listen, can you do me a favor? My wife works next door at the cafe. It'll make her day if you go in and order a cup of coffee. Here's ten bucks and you can keep the change afterwards."
    "Okay." more...

    Hold mouse up to ear like a cell phone and yell "I can't hear you!!! You're going to have to speak louder!"Play Pac Man and state to person next to you, "These new games are incredible!"Practice 'spinning mouse mat on index finger' globe trotter routine.Put your monitor's contrast and brightness on full. With wide open eyes yell "It's going to implode!"Tell the cashier you wish to redeem your free 1000 hours and hand him a bag full of collected AOL promo CD's.Typing hard and loudly looking behind you yell, "STOP MAKING ME TYPE THIS - IT WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE!"Sit at the web terminal... without a chair.Wheel your leather executive chair into Internet cafe and up to the computer with the largest monitor. Sit down, turn to the person next to you handing them a stack of papers, "Get these photocopied right away, the president wants them by end of day."
    Casually look around the room for people in chat rooms, log into the same chat more...

    John was sitting in a cafe. The waiter had just brought a cup of coffee to the
    man sitting at the table next to him. The man drained his coffee into the vase
    on the table and ate the cup. He only left the handle. Then he paid and left the
    cafe.
    "Did you see that?" John asks the waiter. "This man drained his coffee into the
    vase and ate the cup. He only left the handle. Strange, isn't it?"
    "That is strange indeed," replied the waiter. "The handle is the best of a cup."

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