Cable Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Tucson Arizona cable television provider has apologized to area customers after 30-seconds of porn was mistakenly shown during the Super Bowl. Customers angrily called when programming returned to the Super Bowl.

    Tech Support (Classic)

    Hot 7 years ago

    "Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    "What sort of trouble?"
    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    "Went away?"
    "They disappeared."
    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    "Nothing."
    "Nothing?"
    "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    "How do I tell?"
    [Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    "What's a sea-prompt?"
    [Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
    "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    [Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware more...

    SmartHouse

    Hot 3 years ago

    Nov 28, 2005
    Moved in to my new Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the
    smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything's networked. The
    cable TV is connected to our phone, which is connected to my
    personal computer, which is connected to the power lines, all the
    appliances and the security system. Everything runs
    off a univeral remote with the friendliest interface I've ever
    used. Programming is a snap. I'm like, totally wired.
    Nov 30
    Hot Stuff! Programmed my VCR from the office, turned up the
    thermostat and switched on the lights with the car phone, remotely
    tweaked the oven a few degress for my pizza. Everthing nice & cozy
    when I arrived. Maybe I should get the universal remote surgically attached.
    Dec 3
    Yesterday, the kitchen CRASHED. Freak event. As I opened the
    refrigerator door, the light bulb blew. Immediately, everything
    else electrical shut down - lights, microwave, coffee maker -
    everything. more...

    Some soul-searching showbiz questions
    By Timothy M. Gray
    HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - There are eternal questions that may never be answered: What is reality? What is the meaning of life? Why was I born? When was the last time Lauren Bacall went to a supermarket? What kind of people would allow their marriage ceremony to be performed on Live With Regis & Kathie Lee? We'll wait a moment while you ponder those questions.
    I know, the fifth one was the hardest. Then are you ready for some more? OK, get out a clean sheet of paper and a No. 2 pencil, and answer the following.
    Since A Streetcar Named Desire, The Moon Is Blue, Lady in a Cage and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? were once considered shocking and scandalous, does that mean American Movie Classics may one day be airing Showgirls and Natural Born Killers?
    If the writers and director of the Oscarcast can win an Emmy for their work, what can the writers and director of the Emmys win?
    Sometimes, when you're really more...

    "Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    "What sort of trouble?"
    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    "Went away?"
    "They disappeared."
    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    "Nothing."
    "Nothing?"
    "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    "How do I tell?"
    [Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    "What's a sea-prompt?"
    [Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    [Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I more...

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