Cab Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This Miserable Life

    Hot 2 years ago

    There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
    like that for half-an-hour.
    Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
    poor guy, and just drinks it all down. At that, the poor man starts crying.
    The big guy, embarrassed, says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I
    just can't stand to see a man crying."
    "No, it's not that," replies the little guy. "It's just that today is the worst day of my life!"
    " First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, who has a furious temper, fired
    me! Then, when I left the building, I found out that my car had been stolen! The police filled out
    some forms, but said they could do nothing."
    "So next I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found
    that I left my more...

    Jewish Mother Joke

    Hot 4 years ago

    And it came to pass that an openly Jewish man was elected to be President of the United States of America.

    So he calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down to Washington DC to share the Passover Holliday.

    She says,' I'd like to, but it's so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Blvd...'

    He replies,' Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab; I'll send a limo for you!'

    To which his mother replies,' I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport, and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble.'

    He replies,' Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One or another of my private jets for you.

    To which she replies,' Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry my luggage through the airport, and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble.'

    He more...

    Cab Driver Incident

    Hot 3 years ago

    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second, everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

    The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much.

    The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

    Squaring Up

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philipines.
    As he stepped out of the aiport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard.
    Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. Verri faast!!"
    Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good! Very faast"
    The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap's proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it.
    "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, more...

    The Sabbath Violator

    Hot 2 weeks ago

    Moe and Lenny are strolling home from shul one Saturday morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Irving, is running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.
    "Well," said Lenny, "I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator! Look at him running for that taxi."
    "Wait a minute," Moe replied. "Didn't you read that book I lent you,' The Other Side of the Story', about the command to judge other people favorably? I'll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Irving's behavior."
    "Yeah, like what?"
    "Maybe he's sick and needs to go to the hospital."
    "Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab - he's healthier than Arnold Schwartzenweis."
    "Well, maybe his wife's having a baby."
    "She had one last week."
    "Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital."
    "She's home."
    "Well, more...

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