CNN Jokes

Melinda Duckett, a 21 year old mother whose son is missing, killed herself shortly after a grueling interview with CNN's Nancy Grace.
Scheduled next to appear on Nancy Grace's show is Nancy Grace, who will be questioned in the death of Melinda Duckett.

CNN's Jack Cafferty said of the anti-gay marriage amendment that recently was voted down by the Senate, "This is all being done by the Republican majority in an effort to appease the right-wing nuts in their party ahead of the upcoming midterm elections."
He also reported that Manhattan is in New York.

In related news, friends and family of Larry King wonder when he will be getting his proper funeral.

Larry King supports Barack Obama's health care plan because he'll be able to keep his own personal mortician.

Police in Britain have a new plan to curb late-night noise outside of pubs---they’re giving lollipops to drinkers when they leave. The hope is that, with the lollipop in their mouths, the drunkards will stop speaking loudly and incoherently and causing disturbances.
Upon hearing this, CNN's Headline News producers purchased thousands of lollipops to be given to Nancy Grace.