Busy Jokes / Recent Jokes

I heard this from my uncle John Herbert. You can't offend anyone with it.
A telephone sales person makes a call to an unknown prospect and
a very small, very soft, very quiet, and obviously young person
answers the phone.
Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?
Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.
Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: I see, how about your brother? Can I speak to him?
Youngster: (whispering) No. He's busy too.
Sales person: (losing patience) Is your sister there? Can I talk to her?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people
doing that keeps them so busy?!!!
Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.

Say this out loud:
this is a cat
is is a cat
how is a cat
to is a cat
keep is a cat
a is a cat
dumbass is a cat
busy is a cat
for is a cat
forty is a cat
seconds is a cat
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now read only the first word of each line!!
THIS is a cat
IS is a cat
HOW is a cat
TO is a cat
KEEP is a cat
A is a cat
DUMBASS is a cat
BUSY is a cat
FOR is a cat
FORTY is a cat
SECONDS is a cat

A man selling carpet called a home and a little boy with a whisper answered the phone the man introduced himself to the child and asked if he could speak to his father the little boy said, "no" the man asked why not? The little boy exclaimed, " He`s busy" so the man asked to speak with his mother, the little boy said, "no" the man asked why not? The little boy said, "She's busy" so the man asked if there were any other grown ups in the house. The little boy said, " yes a policeman and a fireman" the man asked to speak to the policeman the little boy said, "no" He`s busy so the man asked to speak to the fireman and the little boy said, "no" He`s busy so the man puzzled said, there are four grownups in your house and they are all busy, do you mind if I ask what are they doing? The little boy still in a whisper says " yah they are looking for me"

One day, God sent three politicians, Clinton, Ghandi and Mahatir to Heaven by mistake. So he told them,' I've sent the three of you here too early. You aren't suppose to die yet. Therefore, I'm going to send you back down and before that, you can ask me a question that you want to know about.' So, Clinton asked' When is America going to become big and busy and rich?' God answered,' Another 50 years.' Clinton wept and threw a tantrum. God asked him his reason for his behavior and Clinton said,' I'm afraid I don't have that long a life to see that.' Next, Ghandi asked,' When is India going to be big and busy and rich?' God answered,' Another 100 years.' Ghandi reacted as Clinton did and gave the same reason for acting that way. Lastly, Mahatir asked,' When is Malaysia going to be big and busy and rich?' This time, God wept.

Always walk with a document in your hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. Those with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make certain you carry loads of stuff home with you at night. This will generate the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like 'work' to the casual observer. You can send/receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These are not exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they aren't bad either. When you get caught by the boss, and you *will* get caught, your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?
Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.
Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?
Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him?
Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.
Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???
Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here...but they are busy too....
Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!! Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird... she threw it off of a cliff. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves... she fell out of the tree. How did the blonde die, drinking milk... the cow stepped on her. How did the blonde burn her nose... bobbing for french fries. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month... the instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds". Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops... so they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus. Why do men like blonde jokes... it is one thing they can understand. Why do blondes like lightning... they think someone is taking their picture. Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces... from eating with forks. Why do blondes have more fun... they are easier to keep amused. What do you call a brunette with a blonde on both sides... an interpreter. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer... frosted flakes. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a more...