Burning Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a kid was given a project by his teacher to find out some words at home. He went to his dad and asked his dad, he was making his bike, his dad said fuckyou bitch because something fell down he wrote that down. then he went to his little brother he was watching superman heshouted out superman superman, he wrote that down. then he went to his sister she was talking to her boyfriend she no way, he wrote that down too. the he went to his mom she was playing golfshe said 99. 99 so he wrote that down too. At last but not least he went to his neighbors house they were making hotdogs they said my buns are burning my buns are burning he wrote that down.
The next day he went back to school and the teacher asked what you learned from the boy, he said fuck you bitch the teacher said whom do you think you are he said superman, superman doyou want to go to the principals office he said no waythen th eteacher asked how many spankings do you want he said 99. 99 then after all he said my more...

President Clinton dies and decends into hell. As a professional courtesy to a fellow, worldclass liar Satan greets the President personally.
'Mr. President' he says' we don't normally do this. But I'm going to give you three choices of your eternal punishment'.
'Great' says Bill.' But once you've picked there is no going back. It will be your fate for the remainder of time. This time I'm not lying'.
First they come to a dark, burning pit. Adolf Hitler is naked and being speared by an an army of demons. He's bleeding and screaming madly. Bill cringes and says he could never handle the pain.
Next they come to a hot, burning cave. Saddam Hussein is naked with his limbs stretched and broken. Devils are burning his flesh with hot coals. Once again Bill retreats and refuses the option.
Finally they come to a pleasant, cool room. Ken Starr is naked on a table and Monica Lewinksy is giving him what she loves to give best. Bill smiles and says' now that's more like more...

Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning Man festival in The Black Rock Desert north of Reno, Nevada. At this big hippie festival, people run around naked, drink and do drugs, or as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for President.

Do you know what does the cow do when there is a burning heat, the sun has gone crazy and the weather is damly hot?
She produces...powder milk!

IDIOTS AT PLAY... A TRUE REPORT HEARD OVER THE RADIO...

A guy buys a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30, 000 and has $400+
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting and of course all the
lakes are frozen. These two guys go to the lake with the guns, the dog,
the beer, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice
and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area
for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a
hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down
and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole
drill. So, out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of
dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration not to place
the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location where they are standing
(and the new Grand Cherokee), more...

A guy goes to the doctor with a mysterious pain and tells the doctor,
"Doctor, my penis has been burning lately."
And the doctor said reassuringly, "Don't worry son, that just means someone is talking about it."

A guy goes to the doctor with a mysterious pain and tells the doctor,"Doctor, my penis has been burning lately."And the doctor said reassuringly, "Don't worry son, that just means someone is talking about it."