Bullets Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman was pregnant with triplets when a robber came through her door and shot her three times. One bullet went into each of the children.
At the hospital, the doctor told her that all of her children were fine, but that sometime in their lives, they would pass the bullets in their stool.
Years later, one of the woman's teen-age daughters approached her and said, "Mom! You'll never guess what happened!"
Mom said, "You passed a bullet, didn't you?" Shocked at her mother's reply, the daughter asked how she knew, and Mom told her the story.
A week later the other teenage daughter had the same experience. "Mom!" she said, "You'll never guess what happened to me!" Mom guessed correctly, sat her down and told her the story.
The following week, the woman's teen-age son approached her and exclaimed, "Mom! You'll never guess what happended to me!"
"You pooped a bullet, didn't you?"
"No," said the more...

In front of you stand four men: Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and a lawyer. You are holding a gun which contains only three bullets. Who do you shoot?
Use all three bullets on the lawyer.

This hit man decided he needed a new scope for his sniper. So he heads to this new shop that had just opened up and walks in. He introduces himself to the owner and tells him he has $20000 to spend on a new scope. The owner says "well i have this new one that just got in, it can see ages away. If you look through that window there you can see my house on that hill. "So the customer looks through the scope at the house.The owner asks "well what d'ya see?" the customer looks at him wryly and says "i can a man and a women running around naked" the owner reaches behind his counter and pulls out 2 bullets and says "if you take these 2 bullets and blow my wife's head off and that milk man's dick off i'll give you the scope for free" so the customer loads the bullets and looks through the scope and says "ya know what? i reckon i can do that in one shot."

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk."I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill".
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a
naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house, then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

There was this maniac who just escaped out of prison, he went home and he got his shotgun and he wanted to do a drive by. He was driving anlong and he saw a car he shot at the car, inside was a pregant ladie that was going to the hospital to have triplets. Well when she got to the hospital they couldnt fine anything. So she had her 3 boys. 13 years later the first boy ask her mom, mom why im I peeing out bullets, she said its a long story I tell you later. The second boy comes in and goes mom why am i peeing out bullets, long story tell you later. The thrid boy comes in and goes mom... Mom goes i know i know why are you peeing out bullets, no actully i was jacking off and i shot the dog.