Budweiser Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A night out with Dave

    Hot 1 year ago

    Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

    The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya doin?'

    His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' Oh no,' says Dave.' He's on my bowling team.'

    When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says,' You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'

    'No honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'

    A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.' Hi Davey,' she says,' Want your usual table dance?'

    Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in more...

    Beer Machismo

    Hot 1 year ago

    After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
    The bartender gave him the drink.Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers - Budweiser."
    The bartender proceeds with the order.The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
    The bartender gives him an Amstel.Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
    The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
    He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."

    Strip Club Regular

    Hot 1 year ago

    Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

    The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

    When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League,honey. We share lanes with them."

    A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says,"Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

    Bob follows and spots more...

    Hooligan Hijinx

    Hot 1 year ago

    A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns.
    "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"
    "O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?" stammers the bartender.
    "A small Coke."

    A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns.
    "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" "O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?"
    stammers the bartender.
    "A small Coke."

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