Bucket Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a
bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township
Road?" The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 123 Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"
The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?" The farmer said: "Holy more...
A couple were throwing a dinner party for all the major bigwigs in San Diego. The wife was very excited about the party and wanted everything to be just perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any escargot, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket and gather some snails. Grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would just come down the beach and talk to me."
He went back to gathering the snails for the dinner party. All of a sudden he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing over him. They got to talking and she invited him back to her place for a drink. Well one thing led to another, and the man ended up spending the night at her place. At 7 AM the next morning he more...
Little boy asks his mom, "Where dd I come from?" Mom thought for a minute and then said, "a bucket". The little boy runs out to the garage and tells his dad, "Mamma said I came from a bucket." His old man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about the size of it!"
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, “Me want coffee. ” The waiter says, “Sure chief, coming right up. ” He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “Me want coffee. ” The waiter says, “Whoa, Tonto! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway? ” Indian smiles and proudly says, “Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot sh*t, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.?
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail!
Submitted by Jan
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for awhile, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed more...
The weather was very hot, so this man wanted desperately take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which laid on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said:' You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.'
' Impossible', said the embarrassed man,' You really know what I think?'
' Yes', the lady replied,' I know that you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom in it.'