Boy Jokes / Recent Jokes
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
his plain toast (no honey and butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy! "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby"? The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!
Confucius Says Jokes
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.
He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
He who plays with self, pulls boner.
Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.
House without toilet is uncanny.
Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.
Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.
Man who lay woman more...
A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a smalltown. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use herposition to try to influence the new student. She asks theclass, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washingtonwas the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Fatherof our country." The teacher replies, "Well... that's a goodanswer, but that's not the answer I am looking for." Another young student raises his hand and says, "I thinkAbraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because hefreed the slaves and helped end the civil war.". .. "Well, that'sanother good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for." Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, "I thinkJesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." Theteacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!" she says,"that's the answer I was looking for." more...
A father takes his deaf mute son to the Godfather.....
Father: Godfather my boy is a good boy but he can't get a job because he's a deaf mute.
Godfather: I will give him a job as a bag man. He will pick up the money from my bookies and bring it back here. he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Two weeks go by and the Father is grabbed off the street brought to the
Godfathers office. His Son is sitting in a chair all beat up.
Godfather: $50,000.00 is missing, ask your Son where it is. The Father: turns to the boy and in sign language says...."What did you do? Where is the money? they are going to kill you!
Son: (in sign language) I don't know anything about the money
Father: Godfather my Son is a good boy. He says he didn't steal any money
Godfather: Pulls a gun from his drawer and lays it on the desk and says..."ask him again" The Father: (in sign language) This guy is serious, he's going to kill more...
: Gary Lising (The following was copied without permission from the souvenir progamme of the "The Fabans & Friends - A Grand Reunion!" concert in Manila sometime 1996.) My name is Gary Lising. Secretary of Health Juan Flavier once said that I have a very nice name -- for a disease. I was voted as the sex symbol of Assumption College because according to them, I am the only entertainer that looks like a sex organ. I was already a celebrity even when I was a baby. I weighed 48 pounds when I was born -- but weighed only 3 pounds after I was circumcised. I was the only abortion that lived. I was such an ugly baby. My mother only puts the negatives of my pictures in our family album. I was a very thin baby because I was a breastfed baby -- I was breastfed by my father. I grew up to be a boy wonder -- everybody always looked at me and wondered. I studied at the Ateneo de Manila where I took up B. S. Economics. That explains why up to now I still am poor as ever. I went to the more...