Bouncing Jokes

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    Stupidest kid!

    Hot 1 year ago

    A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking kid bouncing down the sidewalk.
    The barber whispered, "That's Johnnie, one of the stupidest kids you'll ever meet. Here, I'll show you."
    "Hey Johnnie! Come here!" yelled the barber.
    Johnnie came bouncing over "Hello Sir!"
    The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Johnnie he could keep the one of his choice.
    Johnnie looked long and hard at the dime and quarter and then quickly snapped the dime from the barber's hand.
    The barber looked at the businessman and said, "See, I told you."
    After his haircut, the businessman caught up with Johnnie and asked him why he chose the dime.
    Johnnie looked at him in the eye and said, "If I take the quarter, the game is over."

    A young mother had just given birth to a newborn baby and the nurse was congratulating her when the doctor came in bouncing the baby from hand to hand like a basketball.
    "Here's your baby, maam" says the doctor.
    The doctor then throws the baby on the floor, hurls it up against the wall, picks it up and twirls it around several times, and then drop kicks it straight out of the 10th floor window.
    Totally bewildered, the woman gives out a loud shriek and hollers, "My God!!! What have you done to my baby?!?!!!"
    The doctor chuckles a little to himself and says, "April Fools!!!
    He was already dead!"

    A young mother had just given birth to a newborn baby and the nurse was congratulating her when the doctor came in bouncing the baby from hand to hand like a basketball."Here's your baby, maam" says the doctor.The doctor then throws the baby on the floor, hurls it up against the wall, picks it up and twirls it around several times, and then drop kicks it straight out of the 10th floor window.Totally bewildered, the woman gives out a loud shriek and hollers, "My God!!! What have you done to my baby?!?!!!"The doctor chuckles a little to himself and says, "April Fools!!! He was already dead!"

    An extremely obese man shows up at his doctor's office and claims that he's tried every possible way to lose weight, to no avail. So the doctor proposes a radical diet: rectal feeding. Reassuring the fattie that he won't starve to death, the doctor explains that he can actually take in enough nutrients through the rectal walls to sustain life, but that he's sure to lose weight in the process.
    Three weeks later the patient comes in for a follow-up appointment, and he's down from 360 to a trim 175 pounds. The doctor shows him into his office and asks him how he's feeling, noticing that he's bouncing up and down in his seat quite energetically. "I'm feeling great, doc; never felt better" is the reply.
    "In that case, why are you bouncing up and down like that?" asked the doctor.
    "Just chewing some gum!"

    Little Billy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in, you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says "Oh..well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." Then little Billy says, "Mommy, that won't work!"
    Little Billy's mom says. "Why?" And little Billy replies, "Because, each day after you leave for work the lady next door comes by and blows him back up!"

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