Bounced Jokes / Recent Jokes
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drainspout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, more...
Two guys went to Mexico to open up their own bungee jumping service. When they finally had everything set up in a plaza, a large crowd assembled around them so they decided it would be a good idea to give them a demonstration.
The first guy jumped and bounced at the end of the cord, but when he came back up his partner noticed that he had some cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, his partner was unable to catch him, so he fell again, bounced and came back up. This time, he not only had some cuts and scratches, but he was bruised and bleeding as well.
Again his partner missed him, so he fell yet again and bounced back up and this time, he was really a mess. On top of everything else, he now had a few broken bones and was almost unconscious.
Finally, his partner caught him and asked, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Faintly, the first guy replied, "No, the cord was fine, but what the hell is a pi
Ted and John wanted to get away from the countryside and see the world. One
day Ted said to his brother "You know, we could do really well setting up
our bungee-jumping service in Mexico".
John thought this was a great idea, so the two pooled their money and
bought all the equipment they needed.
They traveled to Mexico and began to set up a tower near the center of the
town for good publicity. As they began building the tower, a crowd
assembled nearby. Slowly more and more people gathered to watch them work.
They were excited at having such a big audience that Ted decided to jump
and show his prospective clients all about bungee jumping.
He bounced at the end of the cord. When he came back up, John noticed that
he had a few cuts and scratches. As he flew by, John asked if the cord was
too long. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to catch him. So Ted fell again,
bounced and came back up.
This time Ted was seriously bruised more...
One day, Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf. Moses pulled up to the tee, and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. He quickly raised his club, the water parted, and the ball rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Then, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
Next, the third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over a fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street, where it bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree.
From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily more...
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open., "Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. Shetold them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammedthe door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the dooragain with the same result-the door bounced back open.Convinced these rude youngpeople were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that wouldteach them a more...