Bother Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I was watching a documentary on Aleut life yesterday.
    The father of the family was telling his clan that the Aleuts were generally very slow to accept modern technology. In fact they suspected it a great deal.
    One pregnant woman complained to the doctor that a stuck phonograph record had affected her unborn child.
    "Nonsense," said the doctor, "I don't see how it could bother... could bother... could bother... could bother... could bother... could bother."

    Q - How does a Jewish mother change a light bulb?
    A -(Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want I should bother anybody.

    The following is a basic guide to Valentine's Day survival for men, which was faxed to Robert Kirby, The Salt Lake
    Tribune, by the nice ladies down at "Romance Anonymous," formerly known as "Men Are Pigs But We Can't Kill Them."
    STEP ONE: The minimum requirement is to let the woman know you care. The least expensive way is to look at her -
    preferably somewhere on her face - and say, "I love you, [her name here]". If you forget her name, don't bother with the rest of the steps. You're dead.
    STEP TWO: A Valentine card is an acceptable nonverbal token of appreciation. Best of all, it's cheap. Good Valentines are pink with lots of lace and have cute words such as "I'll love my sugar bunny forever and ever and ever and... " Bad Valentine cards say, "Good for one free quart of motor oil."
    STEP THREE: Candy. For some scientific reason that makes no sense, women regard chocolate the same way men view beer. While a handful more...

    The post office received a letter addressed "To God." Not knowing where to deliver it, they forwarded it to one of the nearby churches.
    The pastor read it at the next charity committee meeting:
    Dear God,
    I hate to bother you, but my family is having it tough right now. The rent is two month's due, my wife is expecting, and my car is broke down. Plus I just lost my job as a night watchman due to sleeping on the job. Please send us 1,000 bucks and I won't bother you again.
    The pastor read the name and one of the members recognized it. "He lives right down the street from the church," she said. "This might be a good way to witness to him and show him we care."
    The others agreed but the church fund was only to help members. Finally, after much discussion, they decided to pool their resources and give from their own pockets. They came up with 500 bucks, then wrote out a check from the church and sent it to him.
    Months passed with no more...

    When in doubt, don't bother.

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