Boston Jokes / Recent Jokes

As Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson...
3050 B.C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times.
525 B.C. - The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a moustache in the women's shot put.
214 B.C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the 1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't keep the neighbor's dog out.
1 B.C. - Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over what to call next year.
432 - St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded history.
1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight to buy IBM or Xerox.
1456 - An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's more...

New University Promos

Hot 4 years ago

BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN!
COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you planning on transferring to another Ivy school after your freshman year? COME TO COLUMBIA!
HARVARD: Hey kids! Do you hate teachers? I mean really hate them? Do you never want to have another teacher again? And what about a social life? Do you hate that too? COME TO HARVARD!
PRINCETON: Hey kids! Do you have any idea what an eating club is? Are you pompous? Can you learn to be? Are you the smartest person you know? How many clubs were you in high school? Have you always dreamed of living in the great state of New Jersey? COME TO PRINCETON!
PENN: Hey kids! Did you like high school a lot? How about four more years of the same? Are you dying to visit scenic West Philadelphia? Does the concept of more...

Interesting Facts
*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in more...

Once, a barber found two MIT students wanting to buy his barber pole. They offered a good price for it, so the barber sold it to them. So - these two guys drove around all day in a pickup truck carrying the barber pole. They kept getting stopped by the police, who were sure they had stolen the pole. But each time, the students referred back to the barber they had bought the pole from. So finally, an APB went out all over Boston, saying that if police saw two students driving around with a barber pole, they should leave them alone.
The next day, every single barber pole in Boston was missing.

The Boston taxi driver backed into the stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him. "Name?" "Brendan O'Connor." "Same as mine. Where are you from?" "County Cork." "Same as me... " The policeman paused with his pen in the air. "Hold on a moment and I'll come back and talk about the old county. I want to say something to this fella that ran into the back of your cab."

This joke was told at a colloquium here by Dr. Steve Pinker of MIT. He
said it was an old Boston joke, so maybe you've heard it before.
This woman lands at Logan Airport in Boston. She gets her luggage and
jumps into a cab. She tells the cabbie, "Take me to a place where I can
get scrod."
The cabbie turns around and says, "That's the first time I've heard that
said in the pluperfect subjunctive."

''Usenet is like Tetris for people who still know how to read.'' - Computer Museum (Boston)
''Usenet isn't a right. It's a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw.'' - Computer Museum (Boston)
''If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about... five minutes.'' - Anon.
''Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!'' - Blair Houghton
''The NeXT Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.'' - Anon.
''What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.'' - Anon.
''Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?'' - Anon.
''If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, more...