Bollywood Jokes / Recent Jokes

One cannot achieve succeess with every film. Audiences can
be unpredictable. The failure could be due to a bad script
or characterisation. All this is a part of the learning process.
- Amitabh Bachchan (Actor, Producer)


I refuse to be a doormat to any man. I will never allow
anyone to push me around. I am my own mistress.
- Manisha Koirala (Actress)


Why should I try to imitate Kajol? I am not a
mimicry artist.
- Rani Mukherjee (Actress)


It`s strange that Rakesh Roshan thinks I look older than Hrithik.
In fact, he`s approached me for all his home productions.
- Aishwarya Rai (Actress)


Just because I`m an actress, why should anyone dare to
assume that I have no morals?
- Preity Zinta (Actress)


I still have a long way to go. People will realise the difference
between Shah Rukh Khan and a one-movie-wonder like me.
- Hrithik Roshan (Actor)

Keshto Mukherjee`s wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn`t but would and then call back.
When she hadn`t called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked what had happened. She said `Well, I didn`t have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint and he went off to work!`

Two friends play cops and robbers as kids, and while one grows up to be a honest and upright cop, the other also grows up to be a honest upright cop!
A poor young man falls in love with a beautiful and very rich girl and when they approach the wealthy, arrogant and powerful father he happily gets them married!

Twins separated in a crowded mela grow up in separate towns, doing different jobs, marrying and having children, without ever meeting again!

Two very close friends fall in love with the same girl and in the touching climax both offer to sacrifice their love for the other and the girl finally declares that she`s a lesbian and decides to live-in with a girl she`s been seeing secretly!

Two young students in the same class in college manage to fall in love with each other without singing any songs in locations in Europe and without any attempt being made to rape the heroine by the local bully. They get married, have nine kids and live happily more...

1) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.

2) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

3) Nothing is too tight for Madhuri.

4) The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine (vice versa) unless they first perform a dance number in the rain.

5) Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.

6) Village girls who live among cows and sheep have perfect skin and teeth.

7) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero, but he will never be hit, unless of course he is attempting to save the chick.

8) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero with machine guns, yet they will always miss. Every shot the hero takes from his small revolver will knock down at least ten opponents in a line.

9) If you decide to start dancing in a field, everyone you more...

Top ten reasons why the movie "Bombay" should be banned in Bombay:
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn`t sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither
does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill
treats her.
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of
confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero`s bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a
meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her
with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they
should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have
taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don`t get to see even one overflowing
electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do more...

Once upon a time, the six peoples were traveling in a private plane and that six persons were bollywood king sharukh khan, congress president sonia gandhi, railway minister lalu yadav, small boy, one old man and a pilot.

Suddenly the problem starts in a plane so pilot told everybody to get out but the problem was there were only 5 parachutes but the people were six.

So first our bollywood king sharukh has jumped from the plane by saying, “Bollywood needs me. ”

Next our sonia by saying, “Congress need me. ”

Then our respected laluji by saying, “Hamari railway ko meri bahut jarurat hain bhai. ”

Then pilot, old man and small boy remained in the plane but the problem was there was only one parachute but 2 peoples to jump so the old man told small boy beta, “you jump bcoz I have spent my whole life but you have your future ahead so I will sacrifice for you. ”

Suddenly that small boy laugh and says we both can more...

Teacher: What is your name?
Student: Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.
Teacher: When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.
Student: My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: What is your name?.
Student: My name is Beautiful Red Underwear
Teacher: What kind of a name is this? Don`t joke tell me the right name
Student: My name is Sunderlal Chadda.
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.