Boat Jokes / Recent Jokes


Hot 1 year ago

A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices and asks the priest if he'd like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.
The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
which the priest answers no. He baits the hook and says, "Give it a shot, Father."
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat.
The fisherman says, "Whoa, look at that big sonofabitch!"
Priest: "Uh, sir, can you please mind your language?"
Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) "I'm sorry, Father, but that's
what the fish is called: - a sonofabitch."
Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not know."
After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and
stops the Bishop.
Priest: "Look at this big sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Please, mind your language, this more...


Hot 1 year ago

Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be.
The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.
THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded more...

In The Boat

Hot 1 year ago

Once A Brahmin Hired A Boatman For Crossing Ganga River. On The Way He Asked The Boatman That Have You Read Ramayan.
The Boatman Says "No". He Says Then 25% Of Your Life Has Been Wasted.
In The Same Way He Asked The Boatman That Have U Read Mahabharta.
He Again Says "No". The Brahmin Once Again Says That Ur 50% Of Your Life Has Been Wasted.
He Again Shows A Book & Asks Have U Read This One. He Again Replies "No".
The Brahmin Says Your 75% Of Life Has Been Wasted.
Then The Boat Man Asks The Brahmin Do U Know Swimming? The Brahmin Says "No".
The Boatman Says Ur Whole Life Has Been Wasted As A Hole Has Been Found In The Boat.

God and the Deluge

Hot 7 years ago

(I don't remember where I heard this, but I don't think it was in church...)
During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rise so high in one
town that the national guard evacuates all the residents. One man
stays behind, however, and when the water is waist-high, two national
guardsmen in a boat motor past his house, checking for people left
"We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat
and we'll carry you to safety!"
But the man says, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the
Lord will save me."
The men in the boat shrug their shoulders and motor away. Later,
when the water level has driven the man onto his roof, another boat
"Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save
But the man sends them away again, saying "No, no, the Lord will save
The water level keeps rising until the man more...

All These Questions

Hot 7 years ago

A father and son went fishing one summer day. While they were out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "Dad, how does this boat float?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, how do fish breath underwater?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, why is the sky blue?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
Eventually, after the boy asked his father several more questions, "Dad, do you mind me asking all these questions?"
"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you never learn anything."

Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" Ole laughed, "You goofy brother of mine...What if we don't rent the same boat next time."

Lots of toungue twisters

Hot 3 years ago

Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

Unique New York.

Betty Botter had some butter,' 'But,'' she said,' 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better.''

So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So' twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

One more...