Blowjob Jokes / Recent Jokes

Subject: Additional Training

It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
other company in the area.

If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.

Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
the SHIT you can handle.

Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
the SHIT list.
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What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
- Toys for twats.

What is red and has seven dents?
- Snow White's cherry

How can you tell Dolly Parton's more...

Three men walk into a cheap hotel. The hotel clerk looks at them strangely and asks if they want seperate rooms. The men decline politely, and eventually get checked in.
After a while they call up what they thought was room service and a sexy sounding woman answers. She asked what service he wanted. The first man said a hand job. A minute later there was a knocking at the door. The man answered and a gorgeous brunette appeared, and he had the best hand job ever. The other two men looked on in admiration
The second man called up the same number and asked for a blowjob. Two minutes later up came a gorgeous blonde and gave him the best blowjob he ever had.
The third man was rather cocky, and he decided he would beat the other two mens requests. He called up the number, and a very seductive sounding woman answered. He asked for a pussy to stick his dick into. ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and he anxiously answered the door. There standing was the ugliest more...

Which of the following doesn't belong?(a) meat(b) eggs(c) wife(d) blow job(D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob

A guy is in a phonebox and he sees an ad for a woman offering blowjobs whilst singing the national anthem. The guy fancies some of this, makes the appointment and goes round. The woman tells him that he must be blindfolded during the event as she does not want him to know her secret. The man agrees and a couple of minutes later he is enjoying the best blowjob of his life and the woman is singing her heart out in perfect soprano.

Several minutes later and the guy is in near delirium, suddenly the phone rings and the woman stops to answer it. She comes back and explains that there is an emergency and she will have to go. She says that she will only be gone a little while so the man is welcome to wait or he can make another appointment. He decides to wait and hears the woman leave. As time goes by the man starts to wonder how the woman was doing it. He did not hear her start a CD and the sound was definitely coming from his nether regions.

Time goes by and the woman more...

A Blowjob - Your Wife - An Egg - Your Meat
Which one doesn't fit?
A Blowjob: You can beat your wife. You can beat an egg. You can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blowjob!

A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an "escort" service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hookersays, "I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that'sfor a hand job." "$500 for a hand job? Why, that's outrageous!" the manexclaimed. " No hand job in the world could be worth $500!" The hookersummons the man to the window and points down onto the parking lot below. "See that cherry red Maserati down there? I own that because of what I cando with my hands." Against his better judgement, the man pays the $500 andsure enough the hooker sends him into utter bliss, by far the best sexualexperience of his life. After he recuperates he says to the hooker, "Godthat was fantastic!! How much for a blowjob?" "$2500," the hooker replied. "$2500 for a blowjob?" Cried the more...

Q. What do mountain climbing and receiving a blowjob from Whoopi Goldberg have in common?
A. For God's sake, don't ever look down!