Blowjob Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
    A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
    Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
    A. A navel.
    Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
    A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
    Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
    A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
    Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
    A. A Klondike Bar
    Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
    A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
    Q. Why don't women wear watches?
    A. There's a clock on the stove!
    Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
    A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
    Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
    A. They hang around after the man more...

    - Her 8: 45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9: 00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9: 30 Light Breakfast 11: 00 Sunbathe 12: 30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1: 45 Shopping 2: 30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3: 00 Facial, massage, nap 7: 30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10: 00 Make love 11: 30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms - Him 6: 45 Alarm. 7: 00 Shower and massage. 7: 30 Blowjob. 7: 45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8: 15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8: 30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9: 30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11: 30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12: 30 Blowjob. 12: 45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2: 30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3: 30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six more...

    A Blowjob - Your Wife - An Egg - Your Meat
    Which one doesn't fit?
    A Blowjob: You can beat your wife. You can beat an egg. You can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blowjob!

    A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
    When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
    "What? You're crazy!"
    "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
    "No! Someone may see - a relative, a neighbor..."
    "At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
    "I've already said No, and NO!"
    "Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..."
    "No! I've said NO!"
    "My love... Don't be like that..."
    At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"

    a guy wals into a bar and asks for 6 shots, the bar tender sais whatts the ocasion, the guy sais his first blowjob, the bartender gave him another and sais its on the house, the guy said thats ok the 6th one got the taste out of my mouth.

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