Bloopers Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bloopers in the church

    Hot 1 year ago

    The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.

    11. "Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on' It's a Terrible Experience'."

    12. "Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice."

    13. "Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance."

    14. "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community."

    15. "The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."

    16. "A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday."

    17. "Today's Sermon:' How Much Can a Man Drink?' with hymns from a full choir."

    18. On a church bulletin during more...

    Church Bloopers

    Hot 1 year ago

    The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
    Evening massage - 6 p.m.
    The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
    The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
    Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
    Ushers will eat latecomers.
    The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
    The pastor will more...

    This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and more...

    More Church Bloopers!

    Hot 4 years ago

    Actual bloopers found on church bulletin boards:
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Taylors. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
    The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
    The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
    The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
    Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
    The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer more...

    "Resumania" is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting's parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates' resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here's some examples:
    "I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise."
    (And an eye on the "e" section of the dictionary, evidently.)
    "Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity."
    (No problem...)
    "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."
    (Glad to hear it.)
    "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
    (And bonuses "tied to" his shoe size?)
    "I am very detail-oreinted."
    (With the possible exception of spelling)
    "I can play well with others."
    (We'll be more...

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