Bitter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lots of toungue twisters

    Hot 4 years ago

    Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

    A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

    A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

    Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

    Unique New York.

    Betty Botter had some butter,' 'But,'' she said,' 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better.''

    So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So' twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

    Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

    Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

    A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

    The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

    Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

    One more...

    A is for Arteries.
    You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped
    out because she really didn't care for you you twit
    she was only after your money and could have given
    a poo about you.
    B is for Bitter.
    Who, me? No way. I really hope things between them
    do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
    C is for Call ya later.
    She won't. She never has before.
    D is for Dumped.
    Does D need to be explained?
    E is for Eating like a pig.
    Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not
    hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice
    place because you were able to afford a nice meal at
    this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your
    Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for more...

    As most of you know, a blast of bitter cold has struck a large part of the U.S. during the past week. One sharp observer in Washington D.C. noticed that it was so cold that the lawyer/lobyists had their hands in their own pockets for a change!

    Banta, "Preeto and I are going to get a divorce".
    Santa was stunned. "Why? What happened, you two seem so happy together"
    "Well" he said, "ever since we got married, Preeto has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market."
    "Are you a little bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you." Santa probed.
    "Nah, I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

    Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil, "which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!", declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad."An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had more...

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