Bitten Jokes / Recent Jokes

Baby snake to its mother: are we poisonous?
Mother: why?
Baby: because i've just bitten my tongue!

A group of golfers were approaching the first tee when they noticed a woman being given first aid. One of the golfers asked what had happened and he was informed that the woman had been bitten by a bee and was having a reaction.
"Where was she bitten?" he asked.
"Between the first and second hole," was the reply.
He then replied, "Wow! She must have been standing right over the hive."

My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now? She's fine. But, the dog died.

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...