Birth Control Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Reverberations continue against the FDA's decision to make morning-after pills available without a prescription. Conservatives warn the pills cannot protect a woman against STDs or memories of that night with that guy in the bathroom of that club.

    A new form a birth control for women has been approved by the FDA. It is called Implanon and it's expected to work better than its closest competitor, the career.

    The government of South Dakota recently outlawed all abortions even in cases of rape or incest, so if your daddy rapes you, you still have to have the baby. Which should pretty much account for the government of South Dakota.
    A South Dakota Senator said that abortion has become a "convenience" for young girls. Like you're in the middle of sex, and she says, "What, you don't have a rubber? I'm not on the pill... oh, hell with it, I'll have an abortion. No sweat, get it at Wal-Mart. They have a clinic, $19.95. And you want a laugh? It's right next to the Pampers! Law-zee!"

    The FDA approved the Plan B morning-after pill for females over the age of 18.
    Females under the age of 18 will have to use Plan C- the coat hanger.

    A team of scientists have invented a condom that plays music.

    Pick your punchline:
    A) The team of scientists working on making the penis itself sing, have thrown in the towel.
    B) Next up, a birth control pill that makes the vagina say "That song is so long."
    C) You can download cock-ringtones.
    D) If it breaks, it will give whole new meaning to "the song you were conceived to."
    E) Some men have responded by nicknaming their penis "The Fat Lady."
    F) It plays "Into the Mystic."
    G) Or "Come Together."
    H) Stop me.

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