Beware Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Beware the lollipop of mediocrity.
    Lick once and you'll suck forever.

    #1 Once you have their money... never give it back.
    #3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
    #6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
    #7 Keep your ears open.
    #8 Small print leads to large risk.
    #9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
    #10 Greed is eternal.
    #13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
    #16 A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
    #18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
    #19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
    #21 Never place friendship above profit.
    #22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
    #27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.
    #31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about instead.
    #33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
    #34 Peace is good for business.
    #35 War is good for business.
    #40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
    #41 Profit is it's own more...

    A man walks into a pet store and asks for a German shepperd. The shopkeeper, replies that it will cost him $500. The man thinks for a minute, then asks how much a beware of dog sign costs. The shopkeeper calmly replies that it costs a whopping $1.98. The man thinks for a while longer, and asks for a beware of dog sign.

    Beware of the Turing tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of interest is easy.

    As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road. He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.
    "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
    "It's quite simple," said the receptionist. "This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."
    "Cool," said the guy, "count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."
    He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the more...

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