Bet Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, “See that camel over there? I’ll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says “No way”.
The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel’s legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, “I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no. ”
The second guy says, “You got me last time, but there’s no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no. ”
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, “Remember what I did last time? ”. (Camel nods). “Want me to do it again? ”
Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him.
“Oye why are you sad? ”
To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet. ”
His friend ask hims…“How? ”
Santa Singh says.. “I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost
His friend queries.. “But you said Rs 300…”
Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”
Little Johnny had been waiting in a long line to sit on the department store
Santa's lap when he finally gets his turn at it and climbs up.
Santa say to little Johnny, touching the little boy on the nose with his
finger, "I'll bet you'd like a puppy for Christmas."
Johnny shakes his head, "No."
Santa touches the little Johnny's nose with his finger again, "Well, then I'll
bet you'd like a kitten for Christmas."
Johnny again shakes his head, "No..."
The department store Santa then asked, "Well then, what would you like for
Christmas, little boy?"
Johnny replies with a big grin, "I want some pussy!!!"
Santa, startled and almost speechless, stutters, "Well, I don't have any of
Little Johnny, touching Saint Nick on nose, answers back smiling, "Yes you do,
because I can smell it on your finger!"
A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar. "That's a strange looking dog you have there," he said.
"Yes, he is rather," said the newcomer, "But he's a great fighter."
"Is he now? I bet he isn't as good a fighter as my Fang here."
"All right - how much do you wanna bet?"
So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master's side.
"I'd never thought I'd see Fang get defeated," said the loser's master, handing over the ten dollars, "Especially by such an odd-looking one like yours."
"Yes, he does look a little peculiar," agreed the winner's master. "But he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off..."
Two lawyers, Jon and Chuck, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Chuck a bet. “Let's say we bet $50. ”
Chuck agrees and they're off.
After the 8th hole, Chuck is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. “Help me find my ball. Look over there, ” he said to Jon.
After a few minutes, neither have any luck and a lost ball carries a four-point
penalty, Chuck pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. “I've found my
ball!!! ” he announces.
Jon looks at him. “After all of the years we've been partners and playing together, you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks? ”
“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there! ”
“And you're a liar, too! ” Jon said. “I’ll have you know I've been STANDING on
your ball for the last five minutes! ”
I bet you I could stop gambling.
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said,' I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!'
'That's right!' shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said.' I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!'
'That's right!' shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.' Is it wine?' she asked.
'No,' the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.' Is it champagne?' she asked.
'No,' the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said,' I give up. What is it?'
The boy replied,' A puppy!'