Bengali Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bengali and indian and a english and a PAKI enter into a bar... all of a sudden the bengali throw's his glass in the air takes out his shot gun and shoot's it.... hes say's'Glasses in bangledesh are so cheap u dont use with the same one twice.... soon the indian throws his glass in the air and shoot's it... he too says that glasses in indian are so cheap u dont use the same one twice.... The enlish throws his glass in the air shoot's it then shoots the PAKI..... He says that there are soooo PAKI'S in ENGLAND u dont drink with the same one twice....; )

1. Blady war on our boarder, Sons of Bengal bheel crush these hoarders. All join CRP and Army, Bugger Chinese must flee.
2. Recruiting offishsars taking names, Whife say Bholanath don't be shamed, Put your name on top of the least, Phor phree clothing and phresh pheesh.
3. To the depoh all are sent, Banerjees, Choudhurys all did went, Debs, Deys, Duttas and Das, Shaking posterior with big arse.
4. Guptos, Ghosh, Guhas and Mondols, Looking like many dhobi bundles, Mookherjees, Chatterjees, Mazumdars and Mitters, Grinding tooths for hurt (heart) is bitter.
5. Shum-one is shouting tarn to right, Phor medical exam and eyeshight. Doctor is telling undress phull, But I am feeling blady phool.
6. Doctor putting tape around chest, Breathe in and out and dam the rest. Myself feeling bhery sai (shy), Doctor is pheeling near thigh.
7. Now for khaki clothing go, I am rushing but dhuti tore. Pushing, heaving, jostling and banging, But I pheel something is more...

What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh.
What did one Bengali voyeur ask another?
Keyhollo.
What do you call a bong who talks a lot, sometimes without making sense?
Mr. Chatterjee.
An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong
A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee
An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee
An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu
A Bengali who works?
A work of fiction
A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu
A Bengali marriage?
Bedding
A mad Bengali?
In Sen
A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha
A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli
A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass
A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla
What's bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal
What's common between Bengalis and sperms?
Only 1 in a million works
When does a Bengali sound like a dog?
When he says more...

This anecdote is of Bihari-Bengali linguistic misunderstandings. It is about the spelling of the word' assassination'.

A boy who was having trouble remembering the sequence of letters was provided with the following formula in Bengali: Gadhar upurey gadha, tar upurey ami, amar upurey nation (an ass upon another ass, followed by me, followed by nation.)

A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters. They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali. "Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same. They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar's ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala Bagh".

Heaven is when you have A : -
- Kashmiri Chahra (Face) with a
- Brahmin Damagh (Brain) on top of a
- Pathan Tunn (Body), with a
- Dravidian Lund (Penis) to please a
- Rajput Bibi (Wife) knowing how to cook
- Bengali Food grown on a
- Marathi Farm and you own a
- Punjabi Mahal (House) having an
- Oriya Abu (Father) and earn a
- Guzarati Wazifat (Salary)!

Hell is when you have A : -
- Punjabi Damagh (Brain) behind a
- Dravidian Chahra (Face), adorning a
- Marathi Body, and all you have is a
- Brahmin Zubb (Penis), to please a
- Bengali Bibi (Wife) who cooks
- Rajasthani Food from your
- Kashmiri Farm, and all you own is a
- Guzarati Mahal (House) with a
- Pathan Father and you earn an
- Oriya Wazifat more...

A sardar/>; and a Bengali were travelling in the same railway compartment. It was very hot and the Bengali was having trouble undoing the steel strap of his wristwatch. The sardar went across and with one mighty jerk undid the buckle.' You Bengalis should eat gehoon (wheat]. It makes you strong.'

The Bengali did not appreciate the advice. A few minutes later he grasped the alarm chain and pretended to be unable to pull it. Once again the sardar leapt to his assistance and pulled the chain with a triumphant yell:' There! You Bengalis should eat...'
The train came to a halt. The conductor, accompanied by a couple of policemen, asked the sardar to explain why he had pulled the chain and on his failure to do so, fined him Rs. 50.

After they had left, the Bengali gently advised the sardar,' You Punjabis should eat rice. It is better for the brain.'