Belonged Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Bill's Clock

    Hot 11 months ago

    Priya Dies And Goes To Heaven Where She Meets St. Peter. She Notices That There Are Clocks Everywhere. She Asks St. Peter Why
    Are There So Many Clocks Here. St. Peter Tells Herthat Each Clock Represents A Person On Earth And That Every Time A Person
    Tells A Li, The Clock Ticks Off One Second. St. Peter Explains That The One Clock Has Never Moved Because It Belonged To Mother
    Teresa And She Never Told A Lie Her Whole Life. The Next Clock Belonged To Abraham Lincoln And Since He Only Told Two Lies His
    Whole Life, Only Two Seconds Had Clicked. Priya Asks,"Where Is Bill's Clock?"St. Peter Says,"Bill's Clock Is Upstairs In
    Jesus's Office. He's Using It As A Ceiling Fan

    (This joke is from a professor who refered to lawyers as the second
    oldest profession:)
    There once was a dog show to determine the world's smartest dog. Three
    dogs were in the finals. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged
    to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.
    For the finals each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could
    make.
    The doctor said, "Stethascope, go!" The dog built a human skeleton.
    The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided
    to give the other dogs a try.
    The engineer said, "Slide-rule, go!" (So, its an old joke.) The dog built
    a suspension bridge.
    The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?
    The lawyer said. "Loop-hole, go!" The dog ate the bones, got a percentage
    of all the tolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.

    A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since his is so badly damaged. So they need to go find a brain for the transplant.
    They go down to the basement where all the brains are and there are 3 jars.
    The doctor points to the first jar and says, "That brain belonged to a woman. It will cost your brother $20 a gram."
    The doctor then points to the second jar, "That will cost you $40 a gram. It once belonged to one of our female doctors and she was quite a brilliant person."
    The doctor then points to the third jar and says, "That is a brain that once belonged to a man. It costs $200 a gram."
    The sister replies, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?"
    The doctor replies, "Are you joking!? Do you know how hard it is to find a gram of a male's brain??"

    The Blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.
    So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.
    The Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.
    They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos - after all, they now had their own department at the university.
    So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department, which sports the saying: "I Belong in B.E.D."

    The blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.
    So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.
    The blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.
    They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos - after all, they now had their own department at the university.
    They now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department which sports the saying: "I belong in B.E.D."

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