Belonged Jokes

Once A Teacher With Her Students Went To Visit A Zoo.
When The Teacher Saw The Lion She Told Her Students That The Lion Belonged To The Cat Family.
A Watchman Heard Her And Told Her That The Lion Belonged To The Zoo Not The Cat Family.

A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since his is so badly damaged. So they need to go find a brain for the transplant.
They go down to the basement where all the brains are and there are 3 jars.
The doctor points to the first jar and says, "That brain belonged to a woman. It will cost your brother $20 a gram."
The doctor then points to the second jar, "That will cost you $40 a gram. It once belonged to one of our female doctors and she was quite a brilliant person."
The doctor then points to the third jar and says, "That is a brain that once belonged to a man. It costs $200 a gram."
The sister replies, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Are you joking!? Do you know how hard it is to find a gram of a male's brain??"

The Blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.

So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.

The Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.

They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos -- after all, they now had their own department at the university.

So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department which sports the saying: "I Belong in B. E. D."

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Phone Company Gives Something for NothingDear Ann, I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out! When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0.00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0.00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0.00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you.This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it.- Linda K. R. in more...

Priya Dies And Goes To Heaven Where She Meets St. Peter. She Notices That There Are Clocks Everywhere. She Asks St. Peter Why
Are There So Many Clocks Here. St. Peter Tells Herthat Each Clock Represents A Person On Earth And That Every Time A Person
Tells A Li, The Clock Ticks Off One Second. St. Peter Explains That The One Clock Has Never Moved Because It Belonged To Mother
Teresa And She Never Told A Lie Her Whole Life. The Next Clock Belonged To Abraham Lincoln And Since He Only Told Two Lies His
Whole Life, Only Two Seconds Had Clicked. Priya Asks,"Where Is Bill's Clock?"St. Peter Says,"Bill's Clock Is Upstairs In
Jesus's Office. He's Using It As A Ceiling Fan