Bedtime Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
    The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
    If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding - it's the butts.
    If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.
    Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
    Don't fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day.
    Please don't drive when you're not driving.
    Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
    Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths you take.
    If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
    The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.
    If only women gossip, how do you and your friends more...

    A little girl named Mary is called Virgin Mary by her mother. This is a skit.

    Virgin Mary: Mom, can I go play over Jonny's house?
    Mother: Sure honey, but be back before dinnertime. ( Mary Leaves )

    Dinnertime Rolls Around, and Mary
    Calls her mother from Jonny's house.

    Virgin Mary: (on the phone) Mom, Hey. It's Virgin Mary. Can I eat at Jonny's
    house?

    Mother: Sure honey, but be back before bedtime.

    Bedtime Rolls around and mary calls her mom.

    Virgin Mary: Mom, It's Virgin Mary.Can I sleep over at Jonnys house?
    Mother: Sure honey, but be back before breakfast.

    Virgin Mary sleeps over, and breakfast rolls around.
    Mary calls her mother from Jonny's house.

    Virgin Mary: Hi mom, It's Mary. Can I eat breakfast at Jonny's house????????

    When do you know that it is bedtime in Neverland?
    When the big hand touches the little hand.

    Q:How do you know its bedtime in Neverland?
    A:When the big hand touches the little hand.

    Q. What is Michael Jackson's bedtime?
    A. 6:33 PM... Right when the big hand touches the little hand.

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