Basement Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    On coming home from a late night at the office, the partner at a presigious law firm discovered that his basement was flooded. He summoned a plumber. The plumber arrived soon afterward, with a spare set of overalls and a cap that said "Blue Collar Guy".
    The lawyer, still dressed in his an expensive suit, silk tie, and gleaming wingtips, chuckled. "I like your hat," he said. "But you're the first plumber I've met who brought a change of clothes to a job." The plumber smiled.
    The plumber went down into the basement, and the lawyer heard him working downstairs. Before too long, the plumber came back upstairs. "I'm almost done down there. I'm going to write up your bill, then I'm going to go out to my truck for a tool I need to finish up."
    The plumber added, "The overalls and hat you asked me about, they're not for me. I'm looking for a new assistant, and I was hoping you might know somebody who wanted the job." The lawyer more...

    (From our pastor's sermon on human nature:)
    A father had two little sons, one of whom was an eternal optimist, while
    the other was a perpetual pessimist. One Christmas he decided try to
    temper both of their proclivities: in addition to their standard gifts,
    he told them they'd each get something "chosen especially for you!"
    His plan was to give the pessimist every toy and game he could possibly
    desire, while the optimist would be directed to the basement filled with
    manure.
    On Christmas, after the normal presents were opened, the father sent the
    optimist to the cellar, while leading the pessimist to the room filled
    with presents. After the pessimist opened all the gifts, he turned to
    his father with a sad face and said: "How can I possibly use all these?
    The TV will wear out, the Nintendo will get smashed, and all the other
    toys will be broken!" After a few minutes of listening to such woe, more...

    Nov 28, 2005
    Moved in to my new Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the
    smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything's networked. The
    cable TV is connected to our phone, which is connected to my
    personal computer, which is connected to the power lines, all the
    appliances and the security system. Everything runs
    off a univeral remote with the friendliest interface I've ever
    used. Programming is a snap. I'm like, totally wired.
    Nov 30
    Hot Stuff! Programmed my VCR from the office, turned up the
    thermostat and switched on the lights with the car phone, remotely
    tweaked the oven a few degress for my pizza. Everthing nice & cozy
    when I arrived. Maybe I should get the universal remote surgically attached.
    Dec 3
    Yesterday, the kitchen CRASHED. Freak event. As I opened the
    refrigerator door, the light bulb blew. Immediately, everything
    else electrical shut down - lights, microwave, coffee maker -
    everything. more...

    Game Show Set Recreated in White House Basement

    President George W. Bush has sought answers on Iraq from Ken Jennings, the champion of the popular game show "Jeopardy," White House aides confirmed today.

    Mr. Bush first came to believe that Mr. Jennings might have the answers on Iraq when he saw the game-show whiz on television earlier this summer, telling aides, "That there is the smartest man in the world."

    After contacting Mr. Jennings, White House aides began constructing a mock-up of the "Jeopardy!" set in the basement of the White House and enlisted "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek to reprise his usual role.

    Instead of the usual potpourri of "Jeopardy!" questions, however, the special White House edition had only categories that pertained to the crisis in Iraq, such as "ANGRY SHIITES," "RUPTURED OIL PIPELINES," and "MASSIVE POWER OUTAGES."

    According more...

    Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a basement?
    A: A whine cellar

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