Barry Bonds Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    On Saturday, slugger Barry Bonds hit his 714th home run. Bonds celebrated the amazing feat by hitting his wife 715 times.

    Barry Bonds hit his 715th homer to surpass Babe Ruth on the all-time home run list. In contrast, the guy who almost caught the prized ball, only to lose it to a guy waiting in line for hot dogs, went home and hit his wife and kids 716 times.

    Rosie Perez's new film about her family and the history of Puerto Rico will air on the IFC network. The title of the film is, "Yo soy Boriqua, Pa' que lo Sepas!"

    Translation: I'm Puerto Rican, so you know!
    Wow! Now that's an eye-opener! Who knew that she would turn out to be Puerto Rican. I just thought she was the greatest Swedish actress in the world.
    Other documentaries in the works:
    With Barry Bonds, "I'm a Baseball Player, I Took Steroids, so you Know!"
    With Michael Jackson, "I'm a Singer, I Really like Kids, so you Know!"
    With George W. Bush, "I'm the President, so I Think!"

    SF Giants star Barry Bonds' trainer was recently jailed for refusing to testify that he'd given Barry drugs.
    My dealer would turn me in over a parking ticket.

    If they towed his car, he'd be all, "There's this bald guy, got maybe a thirty-second of an ounce of marijuana in an old Altoids tin, and probably some left over vicodin from a root canal... Here's where to find him, now where did you put my car?"

    Rumors around Hollywood are speculating on a movie version of Game of Shadows. Due to Barry Bonds’ change in size over the years, multiple actors will have to play the slugger. Michael Clarke Duncan will appear as the current Bonds, while a younger Barry Bonds will be played by Dave Chappelle. Bonds five years from now will be played by one of the statues from Easter Island.

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