Barry Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Roger!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply.
"Okay Rodge," shouted Barry, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it' round one of your legs and.." but before he could finish, he heard Roger call "But both my legs are broke."
Barry suggested his arms, to which the reply was "They're broken too!" So finally, Roger held on with his mouth. Barry struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Barry said, "You right there mate?" to which Rodger replied,"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"
Alex Rodriguez apologized for his steroid use, and expects fans to forgive him, especially since he’s never used any in October. By owning up to his past indiscretions, Rodriguez has shown he's smarter than Barry Bonds. Then again, a single celled amoeba nursing a hangover is also smarter than Barry Bonds.
Barry and Thomas found themselves out of a job when the underwear factory in town shut down. But their boss said they could go to the LSU office, you know, the Louisiana State Unemployment office.
So as Thomas waited, Barry sat down at the desk and was interviewed by the woman at the desk.
"And what was your former occupation?" she asked.
"Me, I was a crotch stitcher. I specialised in ladies' underpants." Barry proudly replied.
So the lady looks it up in her big book and say, "OK, you're eligible for $50 a week."
"Hot damn, you mean I don't gotta do nothin' and I can get $50 a week. Man, that even beats crawfishin'!" Barry shouted.
Then Thomas sat down and the lady asked him the same question. Thomas looked her straight in the eye and said, "I was a diesel fitter."
She looked up in her big book again and said "Very good then, you're eligible for $100 a more...
the school bell ran than a kid walked is then the teacher asked where wher you he sead i was on strw barry hill then after 10 minits later a nether kid came in so the techer asked where wer you he sead i was on straw barry hill thenafter 20 minits later anether kid comes in and yhe teacher askeds where wher you and he ses i was on strobarry hill then a little gril come in and the teacher askeds how are you she ses im strabarry hill
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. --Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the --decency to thank her. W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have --given us stomachs. David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class. more...