Baloney Jokes

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    New Words for the 2000s
    Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
    Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
    Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
    Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
    SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
    Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in a divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
    Tourists - People more...

    New Words for the 2000sBlamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in a divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.Tourists - People who take training classes just to get more...

    Sung to the Oscar Mayer's song: His baloney has a first name, It's "I did not inhale."His baloney has a second name:"I wasn't getting tail."He loves to sling it every day, The White House people all just say, That Billy Clinton has a wayOf making bullshit sound OK!

    Sung to the Oscar Mayer™ song:
    His baloney has a first name,
    It's "I did not inhale."
    His baloney has a second name:
    "I wasn't getting tail."
    He loves to sling it every day,
    The White House people all just say,
    That Billy Clinton has a way
    Of making bullshit sound OK!

    Knock Knock Who's there! Baloney! Baloney who? Baloney chase you if you're a matador!

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