Bald Jokes / Recent Jokes
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a
good answer to her husband's baldness.Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so
There's so much glare off the top of my head that when I walk under a dusk till dawn light, it goes off.
A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says,"Say, your head feels just like my wife's ass."
The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin,"You know, you're right!"
Q. Why do bald guys have holes in their pockets
A. So they can run their fingers through their hair!
"I expect to win it. Sit back, put your feet up in front of the TV, relax and enjoy it. Let me do the worrying - that's what I get paid for." - England manager Graham Taylor before the 1992 European championships. England didn't win a game.
"I have always found strangers sexy." - Hugh Grant, six months before he was arrested with stranger Divine Brown.
"I would not wish to be Prime Minister, dear." - Margaret Thatcher in 1973.
"That rainbow song's no good. Take it out." - MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard Of Oz.
"You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married." - Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944.
"Radio has no future." "X-rays are clearly a hoax". "The aeroplane is scientifically impossible." - Royal Society president Lord Kelvin, 1897-9.
"You ought to go back to driving a truck." - Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in more...
Once there were three babys still inside the uterus of their mother.
They were all talking and wondering what each other was going to be when they grew up.
The first baby said, "I want to be a fireman so I can put fires out."
The next said, "I want to be a carpenter so I can fix this place up."
The last one said, "I want to be a hunter so I can kill that bald headed bastard that keeps popping in and out of here!".
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species.At court, he plead innocent to the charges against him claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation.The judge ruled in his favor.In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it. What did it taste like?"The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"