Bakery Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Murdered English

    Hot 3 years ago

    There are examples of some charming misprints. In Pune Cantonment they have a separate mess for officers of the Intelligence Bureau. The signboard reads "Intelligence Mess".
    Again in Pune, a devout truck driver has printed behind his vehicle: "God is grate." Another warning overtakes "Horn Blow". And a butcher advertises his wares as "Farash meet of Pork sold here". The best is the signboard on a bakery: "Bakery Number One Dilruba & Sons The biggest loafers in town."

    An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

    "This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, "Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery."

    "Sure enough," he continued, "the *eighth* time around the block, there it was!"

    An overweight businessman decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery.

    One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake.

    The staff scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

    "This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed,' Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.'"

    "And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"

    Why did the lazy man want a job in a bakery?
    So he could loaf around!

    A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."
    The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake, "John 4:18"
    "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband."

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