Bakery Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Murdered English

    Hot 10 months ago

    There are examples of some charming misprints. In Pune Cantonment they have a separate mess for officers of the Intelligence Bureau. The signboard reads "Intelligence Mess".
    Again in Pune, a devout truck driver has printed behind his vehicle: "God is grate." Another warning overtakes "Horn Blow". And a butcher advertises his wares as "Farash meet of Pork sold here". The best is the signboard on a bakery: "Bakery Number One Dilruba & Sons The biggest loafers in town."

    One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic.
    "This is a very special cheesecake," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery', and sure enough," she continued, "the ninth time around the block, there it was!"

    one day little johnnys dad told him to go to the bakery to get a bun, the warehouse to get a bucket and the pet store to get a poodel. johnny set of and went to the bakery he said " sir can i please have a bum." "dont you mean a bun." "oh yeah thats right." he said. he got the bun and went to the warehouse. ma'am can i please have a fucket" he said. "dont you mean a bucket." she said oh yeah thats right thank you. he got his bucket and went to the pet store. "lady can i please have a doodle." "dont you mean a poodle" she said laughing. "oh yeah thats right thank you". he went out of the store and his poodel ran away soe he went back into the store and said ma'am can you please hold my bum and fucket will i chase my doodle.

    An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

    "This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, "Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery."

    "Sure enough," he continued, "the *eighth* time around the block, there it was!"

    An overweight businessman decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery.

    One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake.

    The staff scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

    "This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed,' Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.'"

    "And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"

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