Bakery Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Murdered English

    Hot 9 months ago

    There are examples of some charming misprints. In Pune Cantonment they have a separate mess for officers of the Intelligence Bureau. The signboard reads "Intelligence Mess".
    Again in Pune, a devout truck driver has printed behind his vehicle: "God is grate." Another warning overtakes "Horn Blow". And a butcher advertises his wares as "Farash meet of Pork sold here". The best is the signboard on a bakery: "Bakery Number One Dilruba & Sons The biggest loafers in town."

    One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic.
    "This is a very special cheesecake," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery', and sure enough," she continued, "the ninth time around the block, there it was!"

    A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."
    The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake, "John 4:18"
    "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband."

    Special Cheesecake
    One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic.
    "This is a very special cheesecake," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery', and sure enough," she continued, "the ninth time around the block, there it was!"

    A duck walked into a bakery one day and asked for a pork chop.
    The baker said, "We aren't a butcher; we don't sell meat here."
    So the duck left.
    The following day the duck went back and asked again.
    This time the Baker said, "No, if you come here again I will nail your feet
    to the floor."
    The following day the duck returned and asked, "Have you any nails?"
    The baker replied, "No." And the duck said, "Well, I'll have two pork chops then."

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