Bait Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Modem Addiction

    Hot 1 week ago

    "Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450?" my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming.
    "I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, more...

    Something Fishy

    Hot 3 years ago

    One day, this woman went to a bait shop to get her husband a fishing reel for his birthday. After selecting one, she inquired as to its cost.The owner replied, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm blind and cannot see what reel you have. If you drop it on the floor, I'll recognize it and be of more help." So she did just that.After hearing it hit the floor, the owner said, "That's the Johnson Model9400. It'll be $40.00."The woman decided to take it so she went to pick it up off the floor. Upon bending over, she let rip a stinky, sqeaky fart. The owner rang up the sale and said, "That'll be fifty dollars."Fifty dollars?!?!" the woman exclaimed. "You just told me that is was forty dollars a moment ago!""Yes, I did", said the owner, "But that was for the reel. The duck call is another $7.50 and the stink bait is $2.50."

    A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her hubbie. She doesn't know which one to get, so walks over to the register. A Wal-mart associate is standing there with sunglasses on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind, but if you'll drop it on the counter I can tell you about it." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 220 reel and a 10-lb test line... It's a good all-around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. She bends down to get her purse and farts. At first, she's embarrassed but then realizes that there's no way he would know it was her because being blind, he wouldn't know she was the only person there. He more...

    1. select Bait
    2. select hole
    3. pull out big rod
    4. cast rod in
    5. go upstream not down
    6. pay for bait when finished
    7. leave with chatch

    1.What do you catch fish with?
    Fish bait.
    2.What do you catch elephants with?
    Elephant bait.
    3.What do you catch lizards with?
    Lizard bait.
    4.What do you catch eye-masters with?
    Eye-master bait!

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