Bach Jokes / Recent Jokes
History Of The World According To Actual Grade School Student Exam Papers!1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died beforehe ever reached Canada.3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A Myth is a female moth.5. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.6. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.7. Eventually the more...
~ On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission".~ On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."~ Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."~ At a Music Store: "Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach
sooner."~ On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."~ On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a min-u-et."~ In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."~ On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."~ Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to
take a leak."~ In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"~ On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."~ In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
"Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this."
"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign."
"The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse more...
Q:How come Johann Sebastian Bach had sixteen children?
A: There were no stops on his organ.
Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs.
Knock Knock Who's there! Bach! Bach who? Bach to work!
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, "I can do that!"Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again. Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified. Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list. Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was. Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn! Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt. Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs. Q: What do you call a male quartet? A: Three men and a tenor.