Author Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he was at the height of his drunken notoriety and passes-by naturally thought he was dead drunk. They took him to the nearby surgery of one of Dublin's most fashionable and respected doctors. The doctor decided to take a cardiograph and, somewhat nervous of his patient, thought to humor him. He explained the workings of the cardiograph needle as it registered the faint heartbeats of the very sick and semiconscious Brendan. "That needle there is writing down your pulses, Mr. Behan, and I suppose, in its own way, it is probably the most important thing you have ever written." To which Behan replied: "Aye, and it's straight from me heart, too."

...former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich has found a new profession...author...Blagojevich has announced that he has written his first book...."The Complete Guide To Underachieving, From A-B".

A priest came to a dying author to read him his last rites.
"Do you reject the devil?" asked the priest.
"This is no time to be making enemies," replied the author.

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose -- how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.The author said he could handle the story tactfully.The book appeared. It said, "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and the family included Senators and Wall Street Wizards. The family decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren.
So the family hired a fine author to put together all their research notes, only a problem arose - how to handle Great Uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said not to worry, for he could handle the story tactfully.
So the book appeared and it said...
"Great Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution. He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their line had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.
Now they decided to compile a family history, a legacy for the children. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose - how to handle that great-uncle who was executed in the electric chair.
The author said he could handle that chapter of history tactfully.
The book appeared. It said that "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties. And his death came as a real shock."

During the tea break, John and William were chatting:
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
William: oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No
John: He's the author of' The 3 Musketeers', if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No
John: He's the author of' Confessions', if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said:' And you, do you know who is George Hunt?'
John: No
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife while you are doing night courses!! If you stop night courses, you would know this...