Q: Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he
not only gave his famous "One small step for man, one giant leap for man
kind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic
between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he
reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr.
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival
Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either
the Russian or American Space Programs. Over the years many people
questioned Mr. Armstrong as to what the "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky" statement
meant, but Mr. Armstrong always just smiled and would not answer.
Just last year, (On July 5, 1996) in Tampa, Florida while answering
questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 29 year old
question to Mr. Armstrong again. This time he finally more...
NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were all ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space. As the moment came closer NASA's mission control center announced, ''This is mission control to Monkey One. Do your stuff.'' At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle's engines ignited and the shuttle took off. Two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, ''This is mission control to Monkey Two. Do your stuff.'' At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle seperated from the empty fuel tanks. Another two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, ''This is mission control to the astronaut...'' At this the astronaut shouted ''I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don't touch anything.''
Your resume includes that job as Strom Thurmond's nanny.
Your historic moonwalk speech? "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Being on oxygen, wearing a waste bag, and eating pureed vegatables through a straw are old hat to you.
Your '96 bid for the presidency didn't quite pan out.
You can't remember the last time you experienced lift-off, if you know what I mean.
Forget the "Vomit Comet" test plane - you failed the "turnstile" test.
NASA fits you for a spacesuit support bra - but you're not female.
"Houston, we're venting some sort of gas out into space... no wait, it's just me."
NASA isn't all that impressed that you already get all your meals from a tube.
You can no longer see over the Shuttle steering wheel without your cushion.
During take-off you keep yelling, "If you kids don't knock off that racket, I'm turning this thing around and we're going straight home!"
Demand that liftoff be more...
An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?"
"How would you feel," the astronout replied, "if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"