Astrologer Jokes / Recent Jokes

A frog went to an astrologer and was told, “you are going to meet a beautiful young woman, who will want to know everything about you. ” The frog said, “that’s great! Will i meet her at a party? ” “no”, said the astrologer, “next term-in her biology class. ”

An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects.
The astrologer says, "Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can`t even reach that proportion".
The econometrician replies, "That`s because of external shocks. Stars don`t have those".

An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects. The astrologer says, "Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can't even reach that proportion". The econometrician replies, "That's because of external shocks. Stars don't have those".

A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. Word spread through the kingdom and soon got back to the astrologer.

The King summoned the astrologer and commanded him: "Prophecy, tell me when you will die!"

The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. But then, he thought of the most brilliant answer that would not only insure his immediate future, but would keep him safe and prosperous for years to come.

"I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will die three days later."

A man went to an astrologer and deposited Rs. 100 as his fees. Then he told the astrologer that his right palm is itching. The astrologer said this is a very good sign and assured him that he will get lots of money.
Then the man said his left palm also itching. The astrologer said that this is very very good sign and assured him that he will get money and property too.
Then he said that his right foot is also since this morning. The astrologer said that this is the sign of travelling to foreign countries.
At last the man said that his left foot has also started itching.
The Astrologer pulled out a 10 rupee note and told him that he had nothing but suffering from acute Eczima.