Asteroid Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Plan B is to destroy the asteroid by sending up that Nigerian man with a bomb in his underpants.

    On Sept. 7, Pluto, the former 9th planet was assigned the asteroid number 134340 by the Minor Planet Center, the official organization responsible for collecting data about asteroids and comets in our solar system.

    On September 8, the Major Planet Center gave Pamela Anderson's breasts (formerly asteroid numbers 38A-22-34 and 38B-22-34), official planet status. They will now officially be known as Sweeeeeet and ZaZaZowie.

    Top Advantages of An Asteroid Really Hitting Earth

    For starters, you'd be able to surf in South Dakota.

    Wouldn't have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore.

    The one dinosaur on the planet (here's a clue.. he's purple) would be extinct.

    We'd miss out on Tony Danza's or Jenny McCarthy's next sitcom.

    Puts a major damper on that Molly Hatchet/Judas Priest reunion tour.

    Pretty good chance that the Gorditas Dog from the Taco Bell commercials wouldn't survive.

    There'd be no more movies on the topic, that's for sure.

    Scientists say an asteroid nearly collided with Earth. They've determined that at the time of the near-miss, Apollo Asteroid 2004 XP14 was talking on a cellphone.

    Are Major Asteroid As Dangerous As Predicted? The Answer Arrives in 2003
    London (SatireWire.com) — Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute" that they said will direct the next massive space object directly into Earth's path, where it can be studied more closely.
    Scientists hope the redirected asteroid, now expected to strike Earth by June of 2003, will also settle a pair of long-running debates: Did an asteroid cause the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago? And what size must an asteroid be in order for it to render a planet uninhabitable?
    According to Michael Banio of Great Britain's Royal Astronomical Society, asteroid "2001 YB5" passed within 375,000 miles of Earth on Monday, but it was still too far away for useful studies to be conducted. And because YB5 was not discovered until December, more...

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