Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said, "Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well then, Jimmy, go fuck yourself."
Q. What's a woman's asshole doing during orgasm?
A. He's out having a beer.
Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them.
Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.
Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, I won. Than the snowplow came by. We had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! I love Montana!!
Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did it's trick again more...
What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning? -Sends him to work.
A grandpa and his five year-old son went out fishing. After a while the grandpa pulled out a beer and the grandson asked "Hey Grandpa, can I have a beer?"
The grandpa replied by saying "Can your dick touch your asshole?"
So the grandson said,"No."
Then the grandpa said, "Then you can't have one."
Later on, the grandpa pulls out a cigarette and lights it up and the grandson asked "Hey grandpa, can I have a cigarette?"
The grandpa again replied by saying, "Can your dick touch your asshole?"
So the grandson again replied by saying no.
Then the grandpa said, "Well, then you can't have one."
Now the kid is getting really pissed off. So he takes out a cookie and the grandpa says, "Gee grandson, can I have one?"
The grandson replied by saying, "Can your dick touch your asshole?"
So the grandpa said, "Yes."
Then the grandson said, "Good, then go more...