Apology Jokes / Recent Jokes

A truly Canadian Apology to the USA, courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television: Hello. I'm Anthony St. George on location here in Washington. On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him. I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that. I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our more...

Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.

Dear China,

We're sorry you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our apology, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.

We're also sorry your front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver a 35-year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you'd like to purchase some surplus 1950's-era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan... since they just replaced all theirs with new F-16's.

We're also sorry you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to Australia. For future reference, here's an American 6th grade geography textbook. (Please note the Copyright information printed inside the cover.)

In addition, we're sorry you can't seem to see your part of this more...

Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
China blames U. S. for second mid-air collision!
Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated they are holding the United States, ” Fully responsible” for today’s mid air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American aircraft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane.
Officials have stated that at approximately 8: 46am, GMT, a squadron of F-8 fighters collided with the American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese fighters downed and the blimps electronic billboard damaged.
A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision involving his squadron, nicknamed “Panda Rash”, told China’s news agency that he saw the American blimp dive more...

Javad Shamaqdari, the art and cinema adviser to Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, on Sunday demanded an apology from a visiting U.S. film-industry group for what he called insulting treatment of Iran in the movies "300" and "The Wrestler." He also demanded an apology for "Love Guru" because it was just plain bad.

A Letter of Apology From The Chap Who Was Fired After The Christmas Party....
(Author Unknown)
When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling
of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a "dirty son of a
bitch" to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office
Christmas Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today and as
this is my last day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I
would prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go deaf
and dumb whenever I try to talk to you.
First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I called
you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is not a baboon,
nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a delightful woman, and my story
of you buying her for 50 cents in Tijuana was strictly a figment of my
imagination. Your children more...

This is not supposed to be funny.
I want to make a public apology for the temper tantrum I threw earlier today. I still don't get it but I am sorry for blaming everyone else for my problems.
AC3P1L07
P.S.
please vote this as funny so more people will see it.

Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
Dear China,
We’re sorry you don’t train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our apology, here’s a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.
We’re also sorry your front-line fighter planes can’t outmaneuver a 35-year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you’d like to purchase some surplus 1950’s-era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan…since they just replaced all theirs with new F-16’s.
We’re also sorry you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to Australia. For future reference, here’s an American 6th grade geography textbook. (Please note the Copyright information printed inside the cover.)
In addition, we’re sorry you can’t seem to see your part of this incident. more...