Anthony Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

    Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.

    One Sunday morning, the priest noticed that little Anthony was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The ten year old boy had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Anthony.""Good morning father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque."Father Murphy, what is this?" Anthony asked."Well, son, its a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."Soberly they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Anthony's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:00 or the 10:30?"

    Two young met while studying in seminary, Matthew Anderson and Anthony Sicola. They become great friends, but also become very competitive between each other. They both graduate #1 and #2 in their class, with Anthony being #1 and Matthew being #2. They then both go to their new parishes, which instantly become hugely popular. For years the two of them rise through the ranks of the Catholic Church, becoming bishops, arch-bishops, and cardinals around the same time. Always though, Anthony is considered the slightly better of the two.
    Eventually, the reigning Pope passes away, and the College of Cardinals is convened to choose the next Pope. They debate for days until the list is down to just two names, Anthony and Matthew. After another day or two of deliberation, the white smoke is seen, and they make the announcement, Matthew Anderson will be the next Pope.
    Anthony, happy for his friend, is perturbed because he knows in his heart that he is better and would make a better Pope. more...

    Anthony is currently informing family and friends that he is not in Afghanistan but is in fact working on a construction site in Queens, for his uncles construction company

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