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    Blonde Passenger

    Hot 2 years ago

    A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there’s a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I’m sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We’ll be delayed 45 minutes. ”
    Suddenly there’s another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they’ll be delayed two hours.
    Shortly thereafter, there is another bang and the pilot announces that they’ll be delayed 3 hours. The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, “Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we’ll be up here all day. ”

    A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.
    The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.
    The husband asks: "Did we break that too?" "Yes", replies the man.
    "Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks.
    "No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?"
    The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer." "Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces.
    "Second, I want a million bucks a week for life." "Poof! you get a million bucks a more...

    A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.
    The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.
    The husband asks: "Did we break that too?"
    "Yes", replies the man.
    "Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks.
    "No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?"
    The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer."
    "Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces.
    "Second, I want a million bucks a week for life."
    "Poof! you get a million more...

    A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.The husband asks: "Did we break that too?""Yes", replies the man."Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks."No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?"The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer.""Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces."Second, I want a million bucks a week for life.""Poof! you get a million bucks a week", the genie more...

    It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
    The new law was that, in order to get into heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
    The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to the gates of heaven.
    The angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly says to the man,
    'Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died.'
    'No problem,' the man says. 'I came home to my 25th floor apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked and appearing to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give
    up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
    'Well, I ran out onto the more...

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