Amazon Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican.
    They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.
    The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Candian, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
    The Canadian responds, "I will take oil!"
    So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times.
    When he is finished the Canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
    The Amazons haul the Canadian away, and say to the Mexican,
    "What do you want on your back?"
    "I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!" says the Mexican, and he boldly stands there and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
    Finally, it's the Yank's turn and the tribal chief asks:
    "What will you take on your back?"
    And he responds - " I'll take the Mexican! "

    A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.
    The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
    The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.
    When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
    The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"
    "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
    "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

    A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch."What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

    An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying his situation, he says quietly to
    himself, "I'm screwed."
    There is a ray of light from the sky and a voice booms out: "No you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone in front of you and bash the head of the chief."
    So the explorer picks up the stone and proceedes to bash in the head of the chief. He is breathing heavily while standing above the lifeless body.
    Surrounding him are the 100 native warriors with a look of shock on their faces. The voice booms out again:
    "Okay... NOW you're screwed!"

    An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!."
    There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
    So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.
    As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: "Okay... NOW you're screwed."

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