Amazed Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?"
    Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
    Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job? No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
    The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
    "Yes."
    "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
    "Yes."
    "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
    "Yes."
    "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
    Guy says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try."
    They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he more...

    Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog.
    They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.
    Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
    Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had more...

    There's a bear and a rabbit in the woods and they come across a golden frog, they think this is an amazing discovery and they are even more amazed when it talks to them. The golden frog admits that he doesn't often meet people, but when he does he gives them six wishes.
    He tells them that they can have 3 wishes each.
    The bear immediately asks that all the other bears in the forest be female. Which the frog immediately does.
    The rabbit after thinking for a while, asks for a crash helmet and one appears, which he places on his head.
    The bear is amazed at this, but carries on with his next wish, he asks that all the bears in the neighbouring forests be female as well, and thus it is so!
    The rabbit then wishes that he could have a motorcycle, it appears before him, and he climbs on board and starts revving the engine.
    The bear cannot believe it, he remarks to the rabbit that he has wasted two wishes that he could of had for himself.
    Shaking his head, he makes more...

    I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

    I am amazed at radio DJs today. I am firmly convinced that AM stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

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