Alligator Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.The more...

A young blonde was onvacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blondeshouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The more...

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own!" The shopkeeper replied, "By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same. "So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. "They must be the two Marines," he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw nthe gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed more...

During halftime of an embarrasing game, Bill Parcels entered the locker room carrying a live alligator. Glaring at the players, he dropped his pants and the reptile clamped its jaws around his organ. After several minutes of this, Parcels poked the reptile in the eye and it released his penis and scuttled away.
"Any of you wimps man enough to do that?" He bellowed
After a moment, the new place kicker raised his hand, "I am coach, but please, don't poke me in the eye."

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of
Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator
shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to
pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle"
attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde
shouted, "Maybe I`ll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a
reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest.
Maybe you`ll luck out and catch yourself a big
one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed
for the swamps, set on catching herself an
alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving
home, when he spotted the young woman standing
waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming
quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature,
and with a great deal of more...

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for those two "ole boys" who are doing the same!". So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the 'ole boys' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed more...

A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."