# Algorithm Jokes

## Funny Jokes

## Hunting Elephants

*Hot 4 years ago*MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.

EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise.

PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:

Go to Africa.

Start at the Cape of Good Hope.

Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately east and west.

During each traverse pass,

Catch each animal seen.

Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.

Stop when a match is detected.

EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.

ASSEMBLY more...Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa,

throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of

whatever is left.

Experienced mathematicians will attempt to prove

the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1

as a subordinate exercise.

Professors of mathematics will prove the existence

of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture

of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

Computer scientists hunt elephants by exercising

Algorithm A:

Go to Africa.

Start at the Cape of Good Hope.

Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent

alternately east and west.

During each traverse pass,

Catch each animal seen.

Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.

Stop when a match is detected.

Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A

by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the more...Mathematicians hunt Lions by throwing out everything that is not a Lion

and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced mathematicians will

attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique Lion before

proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. Professors of mathematics

will prove the existence of at least one unique Lion and then leave the

detection and capture of an actual Lion to their graduate students.

Quantum Mechanics Scientists spend their time trying to ascertain whether

a Lion is only visible when there is someone there to see it and go on to

design fiendishly complicated traps for theoretical Lions involving small

amounts of radioactive substances and glass vials of toxic vapour

(Schrodinger's Lion).

Logicians don't hunt Lions; for them it is sufficient to prove the

existence of Lions and Lion-hunters and an additional theorem which proves

that Lion-hunters do indeed hunt Lions (at least in theory).

Computer more.../* * Microsoft marketing algorithm. */ #include #include #include /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */ #include /* For the court of law */ #define say(x) lie(x) #define computeruser ALL_WHO_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE #define next_year soon #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version void main() { if (latest_window_version > one_month_old) { if (there_are_still_bugs) market(bugfix); if (sales_drop_below_certain_point) raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION); } while(everyone_chats_about_new_version) { make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */ if (rumours_grow_wilder) make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play); if (rumours_grow_even_wilder) { market_time=ripe; say("It will be ready in one month); order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version); order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version); order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense); vapourware = TRUE; break; } } switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress) more...

Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentiums floating point divider? A: "Life is like a box of chocolates..." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

- Add a Useful Link
## External Links

## Recent Activity